(no subject)

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?


















Because you'll get jurasskicked.

HA! OMG Mir, you're SO FUNNY
I KNOW!

Devon

Miriam tilted her head. She was reading Bobby's shirt because he was stretching it out and grinning his perviest grin. "Once you put my meat..." There was a pause while she read the rest silently, then she pulled the corners of her beak back in an Awkward Seal sort of expression. The shirt said, 'Once you put my meat in your mouth, you're gonna want to swallow,' and had a picture of a shish kabob under the text.

Finally, she said, "I meeeeeaaaaannnn... Accurate?" with an apologetic shrug. Bobby burst out laughing while Bradley just rolled his eyes.

Stacey passed the boys carrying a bowl of chips. "So when's your cousin showing up?" She asked, "His flight landed already, right?"

"Devon? Oh yeah, he landed yesterday. Got a hotel room so he could have a day to acclimate to the time zone." Bradley checked his watch. "He should be here soon."

The small group was gathered around a weathered picnic table in the shade, about two hundred feet from a small beach with big rocks and a few fishermen. They were setting up a welcome picnic for Bradley's cousin Devon, who was visiting for a few weeks and had flown all the way from New South Wales, Australia. Bobby had wanted to "throw a couple shrimp on the barbie," but Bradley had informed him, perhaps a little testily, that they were called prawns in Australia and they're for Christmas. So instead, Bobby had smoked a pork tenderloin and Stacey had made kabobs to cook over the nearby grill, which Hady was working on getting started. Bradley and Miriam, for their part, had brought some sides and utensils: chips, pasta salad, potato salad, actual salad, and hummus and vegetables. Hady brought a boombox, drinks, and several boxes of Hostess desserts.

They listened to an oldies station while they waited, and Bradley talked up his cousin and showed off pictures of the two of them as children: playing on Australian beaches, climbing mountains, hiking through rainforests, and visiting the dusty outback, where Bradley Uppercrust II managed an opal mine. Miriam squeaked and put her hands on her cheeks when she saw a picture of Devon putting a bandage on a crying Bradley's foot and scolding him because he'd stepped on a bramble in his flip flops.

"You were so cute!!"

"Yeah, what happened?" Hady snickered.

Before Bradley could pointedly ignore her, however, a car pulled into the parking lot and gave two short beeps when the driver saw them, and then a tan arm stuck out the window and waved wildly. Bradley practically leapt to his feet, shortly followed by everyone else, and when the driver exited the car, Miriam, Hady, and Stacey all went slack jawed and wide eyed. Devon had grown from a spindly, long legged little boy into statuesque surfer with an unmistakably athletic build. He had messy, almost shoulder length dark blonde hair, bright blue and orange striped board shorts, white sandals, and no shirt.

Miriam and Stacey adjusted their glasses.

"Bradley..." Miriam whispered. "You didn't say he was a whole snack."

"What?" Bradley turned and raised an eyebrow at her. "What does that even mean?"

"Means I'm leaving you, hi, you must be Devon!" She rushed forward and grabbed Devon's hand, shaking it enthusiastically when he got close.

Bradley blanched. "Wait - what!?"

"It's so good to finally meet you, just until he leaves, honey."

"...oh. What!?"

"Wow, lookit all this!" Devon was just as enthusiastic. "Aw, you shouldn't've gone to all this trouble! Hey, Bradoodle!" He suddenly threw Bradley into a headlock and subjected him to a noogie while Hady snorted with laughter.

"Bradoodle, I'm filing that one away for future reference."

"Woah, my signature move, bro! I love this dude already!"

Bradley, sputtering and struggling, was only released when Devon turned to the others with a brilliant white smile. "So introduce me, B-Rad! Oh, you must be Mir - can I call you Mir? Brad always does, maybe it's a pet thing? Whatever, pleasure to be meeting you, quite a pleasure!" He grabbed her hand and gave it a kiss, which elicited a ridiculous grin and a high pitched whine. When he did the same with Stacey, she blushed and seemed to unfocus for a few moments.

Bradley cleared his throat and straightened his collar with as much dignity as he could piece together after it'd all been scattered on the ground in little pieces like that. "Devon, Miriam, Miriam, Devon. And this is Bobby and Stacey, and Hadassah."

"Hady. Good to meet you."

"Hay-deeee, love it!" He gave her a wink and a finger gun and a click of the tongue. "I see we've got a grillmaster present, too!"

"Yyyyyo!" Bobby waved from his station at the grill, where there was a growing pile of roasted kabobs. "Help yourself, bro! We got it all!"

"Oh, don't mind if I do, mate!" Devon grabbed two kabobs and a slice of pork before perusing the sides on the table. "You make all this yourself?"

"Nah, man, Stace did the 'bobs. Mimsy made the pasta salad. No idea what Bradoodle did, but I'm sure he made himself useful." Bobby glanced at him over his sunglasses with a little too much smarm for Bradley's taste, and he was about to say so when Devon smacked him hard on the back.

"Well done, Brad! You were always so good at making friends, y'old bastard, but these lovely sheilas -"

("Wait, who?" "He means girls.")

"- and you, mate - take the cake, y'devil, you!" He mussed Bradley's hair again, to his momentary annoyance. The group ate and laughed and told jokes and stories for the rest of the afternoon. Hady ate a Swiss roll suggestively, getting Bobby's attention while Devon laughed. Stacey cleaned up the leftovers and refused to let Devon help. When they decided to play volleyball, Miriam took a ball to the face and decided to sit the rest of the game out, unharmed, but unwilling to risk it again. Hady and Devon took a swim. A long swim. A long enough swim that whem Miriam began to wave at them to let them know they were packing up, she hesitated for a moment and then turned away very quickly with a dumbfounded look on her face.

"Hey Dev!" Bradley was trying to get their attention now, "De- Hey!"

"NOPE." Miriam had grabbed him by the arm and was marching him away toward the car.

"But- What's- Stoppit, what's your deal!?"

"They are enjoying each other's company." She replied through grit teeth without looking at him.

"What are-" A look of comprehension. "Ohhhhhh..."

"MM-HMM."

"Well - but we're Hady's ride."

Miriam stopped. She told herself not to say it. Then she told herself again. It was too easy, he might even be baiting her. But she couldn't stop herself. "I thhhhhhink she's getting a ride with Dev."

Bradley gaped.

"GET IT? SHE'S GETTING A RIDE WITH-"

"I GET IT, JESUS, LET'S GO, OH MY GOD."

Miriam couldn't stop giggling the entire way back to the house.