Miriam!

Happy Memorial Day, friends. Yes, I can sunburn.

Whoops, sorry for flaking, Journal! It's been a busy week and a half.

The rest of the trip was great! We took a day trip inland a little to explore around Lake Champagne. We hiked a little to a historic lighthouse, took some pictures, went to the visitor's center and little museum about the area's industry and wildlife. And journal! We were driving near the shore and saw the wild goats! Up close! So majestic. Then we took a ferry to the island in the middle of the lake for lunch (It was expensive.) and we saw the goats again! I didn't bother taking any more pictures of them and then felt a little guilty about it because a lot of people go there just for the goats and never get to see them.

There was a winery on the island, too, and I wanted to do a tasting, but...again, it was expensive. So we found one on the mainland and I did one of those flight things and they gave cheese samples! Wine and cheese! I didn't plan on buying anything, but I did by accident. Now I have an aged havarti and a Sauvignon Blanc. There were other shops and stands nearby, and I bought some Middle Eastern spice blend and some chocolate and a few postcards.

The next day was technically our last day because Day 7 was dedicated to going home.

And journal! What a lovely day it was! It was on the roster as kind of a take-it-slow day, with just a few suggestions for activities and no must-sees. So it started with mmm, free breakfast. They told us to help ourselves to the bananas, so I took a half dozen back to the room, along with two bagels, four single serve peanut butters, and a cup of raisins and Bradley asked me if I needed a grocery bag. Excuse me, but these are road snacks for tomorrow.

So after that, Bradley wanted to go to the harbor to see the historic ships and walk around and he tricked me, Journal. He got me on a boat and then the boat started leaving and I was all, "wait, no, I'm not paying for this," but...

...journal.

...it was a cruise.

...it was a picnic cruise that Bradley had arrange months ago. It was for an anniversary! Of some kind!

I PLAYED IT OFF LIKE I REMEMBERED BUT I DIDN'T. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE CELEBRATING.

It was amazing, Journal! I love boat tour food cruises! Tiny, fancy sandwiches and champagne and little pastries! And access to hidden parts of the coastline and wildlife (DOLPHINS! I SAW DOLPHINS! OR MAYBE SHARKS, BUT I HOPE THEY WERE DOLPHINS!) and a couple hours on a private beach to relax and have a cold drink and find seashells and do whatever it is people do on private beaches. (Not that, Journal, are you crazy? All that sand?)

It was the highlight of the trip for me. Usually, I do all the planning, and it was so nice to be surprised with something planned just for me.

La vie est belle.

Today was especially beautiful! Bright and blue and sunny, if still a little on the cool, breezy side. We did a lot today, journal. Got up early, had free breakfast, and hit up some thrift stores to look for discount souvenirs. (I found a lovely stoneware mug with some shells and starfish engraved on it.)

We skipped mini golf, maybe do it tomorrow, in favor of going up the road a little for some quiet beach access and kitchy little boutiques.

The stores were fine. The specialized architecture is really nice to see and I almost bought some coasters that said "High Tides Good Vibes," because they were half off. (I was informed that we have enough coasters.)

The beach itself was a real treat. The sand was warm and coarse, the dunes were covered in tufts of beach grass, protected (stabilized?) by those skinny slatted sand fences, and the waves were these great green heaps, hissing and sloshing with brown sand.

That was the coolest part. Watching the waves swell as they got closer and the deep water started dragging on the bottom and the surface water kept rushing and rising. And then finally the elliptical bends and breaks, and you can see it crest and curl and roll and crash and finally dribble back into the sea.

The surf caught me off guard while I was taking one handed pictures and I almost fell when the sand washed out from under my feet. (I didn't! But my pants got drenched and are still sandy.)

Afterwards, we had dinner at this unassuming little place that looked like the greasiest spoon you've ever seen, but was actually an eclectic, upscale bistro with avocado fries. I loved the decorating: beachy and minimal, with lots of succulents, driftwood, and tin.

We're back at the room now, all showered and jammied. Perfect day, journal. It was perfect.

Good evening, journal. This morning, I woke up and couldn't move my arm without it hurting. Bradley could, though, so he thought it was bursitis or possibly a rotator cuff problem, which sounds like a car part to me, but what do I know.

I thought it was a frozen shoulder because my shoulder was frozen, but the clinician was Team Brad and now I'm in a sling.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to play mini golf like this, but at least it won't keep me from eating corn dogs.

Hey, journal! It has been a minute, hasn't it?

Over the past few months, the dirt babies have woken up and exploded with life! (So has the yard; I almost forgot there was grass to mow!) Sadly, Prince Rupert has died, but his two smaller siblings are doing great. Jimbo popped full foliage practically overnight, and I bought another lemon baby to keep Jeffrey company, and named it Herbert.

Work has mostly been virtual, which....has its pros and cons. I haven't minded isolation much, and wearing pajamas to work is always pretty sweet, but it also blurs the line between work and not work, y'know? I don't have An Office with A Door and a clear separation from the rest of the house, so I'll end up watching cat Vines at my desk and checking work emails during a movie.

So that's been something to get used to, trying to separate work from home when work is AT home.

But today, journal, we're going

on

a

road trip!

We're going to Bellamy Bay for a week! I love the culture and aesthetic there, and the coastline is stunning. I might bring back some driftwood decor, or something that's some combination of white, beige, taupe, grey, and blue. (Realistically, I'll probably spend all my money on food.)

It's a few hours away, and we left later than intended because I kept looking for my glasses while I was wearing them. But we're on the road now, about to stop for a stretch and a snack and then I'll take over driving.

I'll keep you posted, journal!

It's officially sweater weather! Today's high was only 74! I put up the fall leaves garlands, piled squashy stuffed pumpkins on the couch, hung up a Halloween wreath, replaced all the beach themed wall decor with Happy Fall, Y'all signs, and broke out the good candles. I got all the nice ones: Acorn Lane, Vanilla Birch, Autumn Embers, apple pie (that last one isn't a candle, I'm really baking an apple pie), and from here on out, I'm wearing nothing but plaid and sweaters!

Now all I need is a pumpkin spice latte!

Okay, I know I said we'd host the next one, but guess what! Bobby and Stacey have finished remodeling their bathroom and reflooring the kitchen and livingroom! I think Bobby loves the new laminate so much, he wants it all over the house. Anyway, to celebrate, they want us to come over for a cookout this Saturday! He's gonna make pulled pork and they got this local sausage! And I have this amazing barbecue sauce I want to bring, and I'll make cole slaw, and maybe even like a pie or something!

I thhhiiiinnnk he said that Max and PJ might be there, too, with their respective babes. Last I heard, neither had RSVP'd, so...might be just us and Hady, since we were the ones helping with the heavy lifting a couple weeks ago. But I know there's some history there, so...heads up.

Remember that time we went to the beach? Let's see, it was a few years ago, but couldn't have been that long ago because Pokemon Go was out. (You'd know that if you were hip like me.) Anyway, it was you, me, Abby, and Hady. We took a day trip to the beach and Abby complained about her vagina all day, which was hilarious to us, but had to have been awkward for you. (But c'mon, it was also hilarious.)

It was such a beautiful, bright blue day. Excessively sunny. I remember having my denim ball cap on - the one with the plastic rhinestone stars Bedazzled on it? - because I could see the disco ball refraction of them shining on one of the walls of a shop I went into.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We'd all got our sunscreens and hats and drinks and what-have-yous and took the...how long is it, an hour? And a half maybe? drive up and found a really marvelous, shady spot to park (thanks to Hady's ankle injury and subsequent temporary disability tag) really close to the boardwalk. Literally across the street close, which was impressive even with the tag because there were a lot of people there. Mostly young families with toddlers and moms who looked like they were desperately hanging onto their 20s with their deep tans, string bikinis, and oversized sunglasses.

You and Hady are such sand rats, you were the first ones in the water while I set up some chairs and umbrellas and Abby took selfies. The waves weren't exactly enormous, but they were solid. I definitely remember being tumbled around like some clothing in a dryer. When you get those big, clear, solid mounds of water that push you down, roll you around, wash you up on the shore, suck you back in, and you don't know which way is up or how much sand is clumping up in your bathing suit, but you're sure it's at least a third of the whole beach, but it's okay because the water's only three feet deep and the sand'll come out eventually. Probably. (I don't think it all has, yet.)

Even better was when I got a video of you getting knocked flat on your face by a wave looming up behind you, oh man, that was hysterical! I have a still from that video in a scrapbook somewhere: you're ankle deep in the sand, one wave receding, looking right at me with this unsuspecting grin while the next big wave is cresting less than a foot behind you. (I kept telling you there was no time to warn you about it; those things are sneaky!)

Beaches aren't really actually my thing, so I was pretty done with the whole salty eyes and Rock Tumbler experience kind of early on and went to see if there was a public shower. This place did not disappoint: Outdoor showers and full body dryers, talk about upscale! Probably for the large population of furred and feathered folk in that area. I didn't even have to change out of my bathing suit! (But I did, because being dry didn't make it not full of sand.)

When I came back, Abby was sunbathing and I think you and Hady were throwing a frisbee, so I walked up and down the shore a little, collecting a seashell here, a pretty rock there. Then sat under the other umbrella and read and people watched. Met some dogs, took some pictures, watched them barrel into the water after a floaty toy their owner threw. It was so pleasant out...warm, but with a cool, fresh breeze from the sea. Rhythmic sounds of rushing water and kids laughing, dogs splashing. The bright glittering off the iron dark ocean. The smell of salt and Coppertone. I'm positive I drifted off for a bit. Maybe next time I'll bring a freestanding hammock. Ha! Wouldn't that be something, take a day trip all the way to the beach just to take a nap!

Honestly, though, I think the best part was just walking along the boardwalk with you guys. Going into expensive little artisan boutiques, a local produce shop, an antique store, a cafe for sandwiches and an ice cream shop for Dole whip. We stayed until dusk, and went out to the end of a pier to watch the sun turn red and sink into the sea, burning the sky like a hot forge and burnishing the undersides of the clouds a bright, rich gold. You took some surprisingly good pictures on your phone. I'm sorry, I don't mean surprising, I just mean I didn't take you for the artsy type. But I guess it doesn't take an artsy type to enjoy beauty. We all took pictures and none of us are artists.

You should ask Goofy if he's been there! He probably has, but if not, I'm sure he'd love it. Especially with Sylviaaaa.

Anyway. Drive home was uneventful. Hady drove and the rest of us fell asleep. Sun'll do that, y'know? And the air conditioning felt so good. Not quite as good as flopping into bed felt. There's just something about hot feathers on cool sheets. And all the cold air the AC could muster.

Miriam tilted her head. She was reading Bobby's shirt because he was stretching it out and grinning his perviest grin. "Once you put my meat..." There was a pause while she read the rest silently, then she pulled the corners of her beak back in an Awkward Seal sort of expression. The shirt said, 'Once you put my meat in your mouth, you're gonna want to swallow,' and had a picture of a shish kabob under the text.

Finally, she said, "I meeeeeaaaaannnn... Accurate?" with an apologetic shrug. Bobby burst out laughing while Bradley just rolled his eyes.

Stacey passed the boys carrying a bowl of chips. "So when's your cousin showing up?" She asked, "His flight landed already, right?"

"Devon? Oh yeah, he landed yesterday. Got a hotel room so he could have a day to acclimate to the time zone." Bradley checked his watch. "He should be here soon."

The small group was gathered around a weathered picnic table in the shade, about two hundred feet from a small beach with big rocks and a few fishermen. They were setting up a welcome picnic for Bradley's cousin Devon, who was visiting for a few weeks and had flown all the way from New South Wales, Australia. Bobby had wanted to "throw a couple shrimp on the barbie," but Bradley had informed him, perhaps a little testily, that they were called prawns in Australia and they're for Christmas. So instead, Bobby had smoked a pork tenderloin and Stacey had made kabobs to cook over the nearby grill, which Hady was working on getting started. Bradley and Miriam, for their part, had brought some sides and utensils: chips, pasta salad, potato salad, actual salad, and hummus and vegetables. Hady brought a boombox, drinks, and several boxes of Hostess desserts.

They listened to an oldies station while they waited, and Bradley talked up his cousin and showed off pictures of the two of them as children: playing on Australian beaches, climbing mountains, hiking through rainforests, and visiting the dusty outback, where Bradley Uppercrust II managed an opal mine. Miriam squeaked and put her hands on her cheeks when she saw a picture of Devon putting a bandage on a crying Bradley's foot and scolding him because he'd stepped on a bramble in his flip flops.

"You were so cute!!"

"Yeah, what happened?" Hady snickered.

Before Bradley could pointedly ignore her, however, a car pulled into the parking lot and gave two short beeps when the driver saw them, and then a tan arm stuck out the window and waved wildly. Bradley practically leapt to his feet, shortly followed by everyone else, and when the driver exited the car, Miriam, Hady, and Stacey all went slack jawed and wide eyed. Devon had grown from a spindly, long legged little boy into statuesque surfer with an unmistakably athletic build. He had messy, almost shoulder length dark blonde hair, bright blue and orange striped board shorts, white sandals, and no shirt.

Miriam and Stacey adjusted their glasses.

"Bradley..." Miriam whispered. "You didn't say he was a whole snack."

"What?" Bradley turned and raised an eyebrow at her. "What does that even mean?"

"Means I'm leaving you, hi, you must be Devon!" She rushed forward and grabbed Devon's hand, shaking it enthusiastically when he got close.

Bradley blanched. "Wait - what!?"

"It's so good to finally meet you, just until he leaves, honey."

"...oh. What!?"

"Wow, lookit all this!" Devon was just as enthusiastic. "Aw, you shouldn't've gone to all this trouble! Hey, Bradoodle!" He suddenly threw Bradley into a headlock and subjected him to a noogie while Hady snorted with laughter.

"Bradoodle, I'm filing that one away for future reference."

"Woah, my signature move, bro! I love this dude already!"

Bradley, sputtering and struggling, was only released when Devon turned to the others with a brilliant white smile. "So introduce me, B-Rad! Oh, you must be Mir - can I call you Mir? Brad always does, maybe it's a pet thing? Whatever, pleasure to be meeting you, quite a pleasure!" He grabbed her hand and gave it a kiss, which elicited a ridiculous grin and a high pitched whine. When he did the same with Stacey, she blushed and seemed to unfocus for a few moments.

Bradley cleared his throat and straightened his collar with as much dignity as he could piece together after it'd all been scattered on the ground in little pieces like that. "Devon, Miriam, Miriam, Devon. And this is Bobby and Stacey, and Hadassah."

"Hady. Good to meet you."

"Hay-deeee, love it!" He gave her a wink and a finger gun and a click of the tongue. "I see we've got a grillmaster present, too!"

"Yyyyyo!" Bobby waved from his station at the grill, where there was a growing pile of roasted kabobs. "Help yourself, bro! We got it all!"

"Oh, don't mind if I do, mate!" Devon grabbed two kabobs and a slice of pork before perusing the sides on the table. "You make all this yourself?"

"Nah, man, Stace did the 'bobs. Mimsy made the pasta salad. No idea what Bradoodle did, but I'm sure he made himself useful." Bobby glanced at him over his sunglasses with a little too much smarm for Bradley's taste, and he was about to say so when Devon smacked him hard on the back.

"Well done, Brad! You were always so good at making friends, y'old bastard, but these lovely sheilas -"

("Wait, who?" "He means girls.")

"- and you, mate - take the cake, y'devil, you!" He mussed Bradley's hair again, to his momentary annoyance. The group ate and laughed and told jokes and stories for the rest of the afternoon. Hady ate a Swiss roll suggestively, getting Bobby's attention while Devon laughed. Stacey cleaned up the leftovers and refused to let Devon help. When they decided to play volleyball, Miriam took a ball to the face and decided to sit the rest of the game out, unharmed, but unwilling to risk it again. Hady and Devon took a swim. A long swim. A long enough swim that whem Miriam began to wave at them to let them know they were packing up, she hesitated for a moment and then turned away very quickly with a dumbfounded look on her face.

"Hey Dev!" Bradley was trying to get their attention now, "De- Hey!"

"NOPE." Miriam had grabbed him by the arm and was marching him away toward the car.

"But- What's- Stoppit, what's your deal!?"

"They are enjoying each other's company." She replied through grit teeth without looking at him.

"What are-" A look of comprehension. "Ohhhhhh..."

"MM-HMM."

"Well - but we're Hady's ride."

Miriam stopped. She told herself not to say it. Then she told herself again. It was too easy, he might even be baiting her. But she couldn't stop herself. "I thhhhhhink she's getting a ride with Dev."

Bradley gaped.

"GET IT? SHE'S GETTING A RIDE WITH-"

"I GET IT, JESUS, LET'S GO, OH MY GOD."

Miriam couldn't stop giggling the entire way back to the house.

Okay, well since Bradley is being so uncool, I named the kiwi Julius Caesar Bonaparte Khan IV because I expect great things. I had also grabbed a cute gardenia topiary for half off and named it Prince Rupert because he's fancy, but a little sickly.

Today was so much, Journal. It was so much. I got up early early and had breakfast and slipped out to meet Hady at the trailhead of a hike we like to go on sometimes, and we did some trail trash pickup while we were there. She carried the bag, I picked up. We kept going when we came out to the street and found...had to be thirty Powerball tickets scattered around, like someone spent too much on the lottery and then threw them all out their window in a temper. You know, among other garbage, like a whole bag of trash, a pizza box, a Fiji bottle. Who the hell buys Fiji and then litters with the bottle!? That's like - I don't know, like buying some charity bracelet to save turtles and then throwing it into the ocean for them to choke on.

After that, we went to the farmer's market and I got a gorgeous loaf of sourdough, and also some gluten free English muffins, a bag of coarse ground coffee, a steak, some tomatoes, chard, carrots, peppers, a cabbage, asparagus - you know, the works!

I had a little meltdown when I saw a tick crawling around on my pants and we aborted mission to rush back for emergency showers, but I think the trail and a little bit of the street looks a lot nicer, and I'm glad I finally got to pick up some local goods. Hady borrowed some sweatpants and a hoodie and I just flopped on the bed in a robe to dry off and relax for a few minutes.

All of a sudden, I hear voices and it's because Bobby came over ("But I'm not wearing pants!!" "So what, babe, neither do the rest of you birds!" "SOME OF US DO.") to show off the new sink and toilet he bought. Turns out he and Stace are going to redo their downstairs bathroom! So after maybe an hour, Stacey came bearing junk food and some paint samples. We got our early thousands vibe on by watching silly old edited Lord of the Rings videos. ("They're taking the hobbits to Isengard-gard-gard-gard, to Isengard, to Isengard!" That was my ringtone back then.) Hady complained that I was throwing away some extra bread on my sandwich, and,

"That's the best part!"
"Wrong-o, the inside is the best part."
"Well excuse me for liking carbs."

That's when Bobby, not listening to any of it because he was still watching LotR memes, said, "Stupid fat hobbit," and Hady immediately said, "HEY." He was so confused, but the timing was perfect.

After THAT, the day got all big again because Bob-o and Stace aren't just redoing the bathroom, they're getting tile in the kitchen and livingroom, too, and obviously Hady and I went to help them get all the stuff in both rooms boxed up and put into the garage in preparation for the contractors to pull out all the big appliances and rip up the flooring. Which I think might be happening on Monday?, but I mean, there's so much in a kitchen and a livingroom, so we were there for like four hours doing that and ugh....oh, I'm getting old. I don't remember my back hurting like this. What happened to my knees, oh my God, where's my walker and pills? Admittedly, a lot of the time spent waiting on hold with the hardware store and wondering what to do next was spent silly dancing to the oldies station. (What can I say, I love bomp-ba-ba-made-up words.)

Anyway, it's still not done, of course. I think Hady offered to go over tomorrow and help more. I.........will see. Bobby does so much for me, so I really should, but my baaaaaccckkkk. I did so much picking-things-up-off-the-ground and carrying-heavy-things today, I didn't even feel up to making dinner. Maybe I can scam Bradley into helping, he's a big strong man. In the meantime, I think I'm getting the vapors and need to have an eleven hour lie-down.