Vegetarian Grillmaster

You're never gonna believe this, Journal. So we've been hosting cookouts and get-togethers for awhile, right? And Bobby and Stacey always bring these amazing smoked pork loins or kabobs or chicken thighs or other assorted meat product. WELL. To celebrate their newly remodeled downstairs, they hosted a cookout and made this amazing pulled pork. For years, I assumed Bobby was the one behind these masterpieces. I mean, wouldn't you? With how in-your-face proud of them he is? With all the "eating my meat" jokes he makes? Oh boy, Journal. Ooohhhhhh boy. In the middle of a conversation about, what else, food, Stacey drops a bomb.

"I got up at five this morning to put it in the smoker."

WHAT. This butt has been smoking for 14 hours because Stacey smoked it?! And all the other meats this entire time, too, apparently! She's behind the loins and the thighs and the 'bobs, well, Bobby buys and dresses and seasons them, and Stacey - VEGETARIAN STACEY - is the one mastering the art of the smoke ring. I need to sit down, Journal.